Some people are extremely well-defined. They know exactly who they are and which box they fit in. On the other hand, there are people like me. The majority of my life was spent trying to figure out which was my box. It is difficult, for a person who loves the crap out of everything.
Yes. It is true. I love most everything. Go all in and love everything with all that I have inside! Passionate, full force, head on, bring it on kind of love.Unfortunately, being this way, made it challenging to figure out where I “fit in” in the past. I even tried to force myself to belong in other people’s boxes, as an attempt to be accepted. Those were lonely years for my soul.
Nevertheless, here I am, still willing to try most anything and love the heck yeah out of life.
“Want to run?” YES! I love that with my whole heart.
‘Want to be a mommy?” YESS!! WHOLE BIG HEART there!
“Want to build something?” YES! I love the crap out of that too! Dancing? YESSS! Hiking? YES! Teaching? YES! YES! Kayaking? YES! Swimming? I’m game! Going to the movies? Sweet, let’s go! Concerts? Definitely! Cooking? Yup! Having tea with friends? You bet, I’ll put the kettle on!
“You want to laugh?” Oohhh yes! The more laugh lines, the better!
I mean, literally, the list is endless. “Yes, let’s go!” is usually my response to life. The only thing I don’t love with my whole heart are those creepy scary movies that give me heebie jeebie nightmares; gigantic, hairy spiders; and possibly skunks, but even they are lovable in their own way.
Most of my life, I was envious of my well-defined friends. I thought they had it all together. And they do! Plus, guess what?? I love the heck out of them too! With my whole heart.
But I am not them. Years of life lessons in self-acceptance finally broke through into my being.
So which box belongs to someone like me? An emotional woman who feels the world with her whole heart?
Well, I can tell you that the labeled box most wanted to jam me into was the “Too Emotional” box. Emotions can make others uncomfortable. Not all receive that well.
But here’s the thing:
The point is…if you are going to love, you might as well love with your whole heart. Love the crap out of it! With as much enthusiasm, passion, and excitement as you want!
Another way to view this concept is through one of my beloved verses:
Love always and always, wins.
But promise, whether you are one of those beautifully, well-defined people, or an emotionally, feeling-everything person, that you never apologize for who you are. I lost too many years doing just that. Apologizing for being me. Love cannot win that way.
At 41 years old, I finally love that quality. I have accepted that part of myself. You want to see the world through the eyes of your heart, then I’m your girl! Emotions spill out of me…sometimes at appropriate times, and sometimes at those weird moments that catch you off guard. It is ok. It is OK to feel, to feel life so deeply that the glistening of sunlight on gentle waves brings tears to your eyes. Or that someone else’s pain feels like your pain. Or another’s victory sends you into spontaneous jumps-for-joy. It is all ok.
Love your family with your entire being. Love your mountains with your entire soul. Love your books with your beautiful, emotional mind. Love your perspective on life and your photographs that reflect that vision with your great, big spirit. Love your time of solace and peace with as much tenderness as your precious, little ticker can hold. Love your writing, no matter what form it takes, with your courageous blood-pumping, life-sustaining heart.
Love. Always and always…and then you cannot lose. You.Can.Not.Lose. You will always win.
Now this, right here, maybe the most vital aspect about loving the crap out of life…
Even when it is hard to love, try. Try to love, no matter what.
Wrap that big bubble of love around whoever or whatever is the closest thing to your heart at that moment, and love the daylights out of it. Everyday. Until Love becomes easy again.
And it will. It will again.
Oh and that box? I finally figured out which one is mine. The one labeled “Loving the crap out of life with your whole heart.” Period. Embrace that which you were given and use it to love and be loved. Because love does win.
Still building that big bubble of love,
J
rundanceclimb 